


Have yourself a very little christmas

by HeleneOfFlowers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Winter, christmas season fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 10:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5330384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeleneOfFlowers/pseuds/HeleneOfFlowers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's winter and the snow is falling. Claire is now living with Jody and Alex, and the three of them happen to be joined by Donna because she decided that the christmas holidays were something you can't spend alone. What comes as a surprise however, is the Winchesters dropping by on their way to a case. </p><p>Yes, I'm not sorry, I really liked the idea and I wanted to write a winter/christmas fic for Claire so here it is!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have yourself a very little christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silverstaineddreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverstaineddreams/gifts).



When Claire wakes up on this Saturday morning, she runs to the window and stares at the snow outside in wonder. It has been so long since the last time she could watch it fall without having to worry about anything else and able to enjoy the snowfall in peace. The house is so quiet. Nobody is awake yet. And so Claire just sits there on the cold floor, a blanket wrapped around her, and watches the snow fall.  
An hour later -Claire is still sitting on the floor-, Alex softly knocks on her door. “You coming? Donna made breakfast.”  
Donna had decided to come over to celebrate Christmas with them, and has taken great joy in taking care of everything that has to do with food. That being said, nobody ever complains about it because Donna is a fantastic cook. As Jody likes to say, if Donna ever decides to give up her position as a Sheriff, she should open her own restaurant.  
“Yeah, I'm coming,” Claire says, but doesn't make a move to stand up. Alex sighs and sits down next to Claire, putting her steaming tea on the floor. “Have you never seen snow before or why are you so fascinated with it?” she asks but doesn't get an answer. And so the two girls just sit there, Alex taking a sip of tea from time to time before it gets cold and Claire watching the snowflakes as if each and every single one of them holds the secret to universal happiness.  
“My dad used to go outside and build a snowman with me on the first day of snow,” Claire suddenly begins. “That's why we paid attention to have carrots at all time as soon as it grew cold. We always put an old top hat we had found on a floomarket when I was 4 on top and wrapped one of moms self-knitted scarves around it. When we were cold and shivering she would call us inside where she waited for me with a big mug of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream. We would cuddle on the sofa while I told them about all the stuff I had planned for the winter. You know, before he...he...”  
Alex looks at her expectantly. They've never talked about their past, what brought them here, what they've suffered through. Because nobody lives with Jody unless they've witnessed something horrible.  
“Before Castiel... Before my dad...”  
_died._  
_said yes._  
_sacrificed himself for me._  
Claire can't bring herself to say it. She will never bring herself to say it. So she just says “Before everything.”  
Claire doesn't look at Alex. If she did, Alex would be able to see the tears in her eyes and the sadness on her face. So she just continues to stare outside. The snow is cold and unmoving, just like her. Or at least just like how she wishes she could be most of the time.  
“If it makes you feel any better, I miss my old Christmases too. Of course it wasn't perfect, but it was better than the rest of the time and my mother would cook for us and...” Alex doesn't get to finish her sentence because Jody interrupts her by knocking on the Doorway. It's probably better like this. The story of Alex' past would only have made Claire more sad than she already is.  
“Hey girls, I know the snow is pretty and beautiful, but breakfast is ready and Donna and I are not in the mood to wait for you any longer. The snow is not gonna melt away in the half and hour it takes you two to get something in your stomach. You comin'?” Alex and Claire both nod and stand up to follow Jody downstairs. Alex' tea is left cold and forgotten on the floor. It's still snowing outside.

The pancakes are still hot when both girls sit down at the table. Donna is drinking her coffee (with far too much milk than can be humanly healthy as Claire may ad) and reading the newspaper. Alex helps herself with the pancakes while Claire gets herself a big cup of coffee. If she already has made the effort to get downstairs, she's allowed to drown herself in the beverage, no matter what other people may say.  
“Have you guys read about the disappearance of these kids from High School in Casselton, North Dakota?”, she asks without looking up from the paper, while reaching for her plate with her fork.  
“What is it about?”, Jody says, now fully concentrating on what seems to be a possible hunt.  
“Well, Alexandra Chase has been missing since Thursday, after she didn't come home from cheerleader practice. She's the fifth student to have disappeared, the others being Clarice Arager, who stayed behind to finish her statue for Sculpture II, Jean Zahiri, also a cheerleader, Thomas Sherrinford, who disappeared after wrestling practice, and finally William Ronald who left school immediately after his last period. The police has warned about a possible child abductor on the loose. So, does this look like something supernatural to you?” Donna asks.  
Pensively, Jody starres into her cup of coffee. “It definitely sounds like something somebody should look at. I'll see if I can get one of Bobby's old acquaintances to do it. Or anybody who knows and doesn't hate Sam and Dean.”  
“How are they by the way? Haven't seen them since that thing in Hibbings!” Donna exclaims.  
“You know, one day they're dooming the world, the next they're saving it. You never know what's up with them at the moment. But Sam wanted to call in the next days, you can ask him yourself about everything. If you want,” Jody quickly added.  
“And you, Claire? Any news of Castiel? Didn't he promise to call sometimes?”, her now-nearly-foster-mom asks her. Claire simply shakes her head.  
“Nah. Haven't heard of them for quite some time. Probably busy killing demons and stuff,” she says before taking a sip of her coffee. Secretly, she wishes for Castiel to call her. She needs someone who will listen to her and understand most of it, without her needing to explain everything that has happened. “Maybe you should call him. So he knows you really want to talk to him and it's not just him being annoying and overprotective,” Alex says.  
“We'll see,” Claire mumbles before fully concentrating on her breakfast again, showing everyone sitting at the table that the discussion is finished for her. Jody and Donna now turn to Alex, asking her about her plans for the weekend, what she thinks of her new English substitute and everything else that makes it seem like they're a normal family. 

It's 2 pm when the doorbell rings. Claire is out to get milk and so it is Alex who opens the door. There are not many things which can surprise her anymore (hey, your family being vampires before getting turned into one and back yourself can do that to you), but the Winchesters standing in the doorway is definitely one of them.  
“Hey, um, Alex right?” Sam says, waving awkwardly.  
“Yeah, and you're Sam Winchester. What are you two doing here?”

Before either of them can answer her question, they're interrupted by Donna, who is covered in flour. “Dean! Sam! Jody didn't tell me you two where coming! What is it that brings you here?” she exclaims while wrapping them in a hug. “Come on in, I just finished baking a new batch of cookies!” Without further warning or difficulties for that matter, she drags both of them with her. Alex is left standing in the doorway. Surprised? Yes. Perplex? Even more so. Fucking annoyed? Hell yes. Why can't she just have one _normal_ moment of her life? She sighs and goes up to her room. Claire is going to have to deal with all of this. The Winchesters are her _my-dad-gave-his-body-to-somebody-else-who-now-has-a-boyfriend-and-I-got-a-weird-uncle-on-top-of-that-for-free_ family and not Alex'. All of this is none of her business. 

“Dude, there was only one brick of milk left! What the fuck made people want to buy all of it until 2pm? The freaking lactose-apocalypse? I swear to heaven, these people have nothing better to... oh. Hey.” Claire stops dead in her tracks when she enters the kitchen. Dean, Sam, Jody and Donna are looking at her. She can see Dean chew and swallow a cookie, more of them laid out on a plate in front of him. “Nobody told me you were coming. What are you doing here?” 

“Yeah, the stop here was a bit improvised. We're actually on our way to Casselton, several high school kids have disappeared lately. Donna told us you all read about it in the newspapers. Since we're passing through Sioux Falls anyway, we thought we would just drop by.”  
“Hm. Okay.” Claire doesn't know what else to say. Small talk has never been her forte.  
“Castiel says hi, by the way.”, Dean says, while already chewing on yet another cookie. Now that was something she could work with. “Yeah, how are they? Haven't called in, like, 2 weeks.”  
“Cas is fine. He's just a lot of angel-related-stuff going on right now. Don't worry, I'll tell him you're waiting for his call.”  
“NO! I don't want... for Castiel to call... if they have more important stuff to do. I'm just, you know, glad they're alright.”  
“Yeah, well, how are you, Claire? Everything alright?”, Sam asks her. She's glad they drop the subject. And soon the conversation is about school and parties and all the mundane things that are supposed to occupy the people of her age. It's small talk, it's easy. She still knows how to do it from the time before the angels happened. 

It's gotten dark, and Claire is sitting on the porch. She's cold and should go inside, where she knows it will be warm, where there will be a cup of hot chocolate waiting for her. But she wants nothing more than to be alone. Alone with her thoughts, alone with the snow, alone with the silence. People, no matter how much she likes them, are too much for her right now. And so she stays outside, shivering and thinking about everything that has happened to her. 

“Hey, Claire, would you uhm, mind if I sit down? I honestly can't listen to Dean and Donna arguing about the way to make the perfect pie anymore.”, she suddenly hears Sam's voice behind her.  
“Yeah, sure. I wanted to go inside anyway. The place is...”, Claire's already halfway up, when he interrupts her.  
“No, no, stay here. I don't want to chase you away.”  
Not knowing what to do, Claire sits down again and continues to stare out into the night. She can feel Sam's eyes on her but decides to keep ignoring him. What else is she supposed to do?  
“You know Castiel doesn't mind talking to you, right? He doesn't see calling you as a burden or anything similar. “  
Slowly, Claire turns her head towards him.  
“What?”  
Sam smiles. “Castiel likes hearing about your new life with Jody and Alex. You should have seen him when he learned that you would finish your last year of high school here. He kept pacing around the Bunker the entire day. Dean had to make him a burger so Cas would shut up long enough for Dean to explain to him that you would be fine. He really cares about you, Claire.”  
She doesn't know what to say.  
“And he feels horrible for everything that you've been through because of him. I think if he could give you back Jimmy, he would do it in an instance. But you know...” Sam hesitates for a moment. Claire saves him from telling her what she already knows.  
“I know my dad is in Heaven. Castiel told me back when they visited me in the group home.”  
Sam doesn't answer anything to that. Silently, they sit next to each other. It's Claire who talks first. “You know, I'm not even angry at Castiel for what they have done to my family. It's not as if they exactly knew what they were doing when my dad said yes. You forget that I was Castiel too. I know what they were like back then. Full of admiration and wonder for us humans but so naive and ignorant at the same time. They were only following orders. Now they're, I don't know, they have changed somehow. They're not the same anymore. Fragile, unsure. Broken, in some way. Something has happened and I don't know what it was. I'm not even sure I want to know, if it's able to make a fucking angel like... like _this_.”  
Claire can feel Sam's eyes again. She doesn't know why she's telling him all of this. She doesn't want to think back to that night. She doesn't want to think back to what Castiel used to be, how pure they used to be. And yet she can't help it.  
“Yeah, a lot has happened to him. Enough to change anyone, I think. It has nothing to do with Cas being an angel. He's always been special, not like the others. But that's not my story to tell.”  
They sit there for a few more minutes.  
“Do you think Castiel would be happy if I, y'know, called him?”, Claire asks Sam.  
“Yeah, I think he would. He always feels as if you're annoyed by him wanting to talk to you. He still doesn't know where you two stand right now.”  
Claire opens her mouth to answer, to ask, she still has so questions left, but in that moment Dean opens the door.  
“Hey Sam, Donna made dinner. Have you seen, oh, hi Claire. Jody wants you to set the table and call Alex for dinner.” And he's gone again. Sam and Claire look at each other before they stand up and head inside. 

This night, Claire can't sleep. The wind is howling outside and her thoughts are playing ping-pong inside her head. It's 2 am when she finally drifts off into Morpheus' arms. Her thoughts haven't quieted down completely yet, but they've stopped screaming for the moment. 

The next day, Claire wakes up with a smile on her lips.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry for not including Castiel but I didn't find a way to make him fit into the story that seemed right to me.  
> However, I'm really not sorry for that bonding scene between Claire and Sam. Originally I wanted to have Sam mention his past and how Dean raised him and how he got off to Stanford etc... but I couldn't find a way to do it. Well, this must suffice for now, maybe I'll write another chapter for this fic for christmas next year or so, idk. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and if you did, please don't hesitate and come talk to me either on tumblr ([Helene-Of-Flowers](http://helene-of-flowers.tumblr.com/welcome)) or on twitter ([HeleneOfFlowers](https://twitter.com/HeleneOfFlowers))!


End file.
